Deutsche Version


by Grenzfurthner

We know apocalypses from our medial environment. Some take on the shape of
asteroids, some appear as hordes of zombies, others make themselves known
as gigantic radio-active lizards that come out of the murky depths of the
ocean. None of these scenarios seem likely.

A coincidence is an event which, before it has occured, was indeed very unlikely to happen. Almost everything that happens to us is extremely unlikely - the possibility of one snow flake landing exactly on the tip of your nose is smaller than that of winning the lottery ten times in a row, yet it does occur more often than not.
Certain events, therefore, occur often, others just don't. Imagine for instance a cosmic cloud emitting abnormal rays hitting the path of planet earth. Very unlikely. The cloud keeps hurdling on on its way through space, but let us just assume that it does hit earth and that it will turn all humans into porno actors. Porno mutants, to be sure. Its emission would mold our typical patterns of behaviour into that of porno plots.
This, in principal, could be seen as a positive thing. Man is, after all, libido. And although violent confrontation would undoubtedly decimate, it is plain to see that within a short period of time civilisation would cease to exist.
Take for example Mr M. It would not be possible for him to move freely in his home - not that he'd want to anyway - without encountering his extremely horny wife, with whom he'd have steamy romps between getting up, brushing teeth and having breakfast. Often. We shall also point to the house wife upstairs, whose lust now knows no boundaries. Imagine the possibilities given in the staircase of her apartment building. Nympho neighbours, perverse landlords, postmen that are gagging for it,
thick-dicked binmen. Buying a box of matches from the newsagent around the
corner will be unthinkable without a quickie with Ms Smith, not to forget the petting with the rest of her customers and the cheeky back-end of the queue. And that's not the end of it.
Public transport, the office, on the tennis court, everywhere! Mundane undertakings become impossible as anything you could do will end in free and easy sex. A vision as if JL Borges has finally written his first hardcore-novel. We would witness a society halting to a grind, first by a reduction of communication to such an extent that Orwellian Newspeak seems like Ulysses. Any kind of civilian progress would be consumed by the fires of lust. And on top of that we'd all diminish after just one generation
anyway. Porno actresses all take the pill, didn't you know? What a terminal thought. But rather unlikely.

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